The continuing role of a mother.

I spent last evening with my daughter at OU in Athens.  She's starting on her fourth year now.   She's grown up so much.   It was the first time that just the two of us have been able to hang out together in a very long time.   As I sat there at dinner,  I just listened.   No longer the youngster going off into the big world, I realized she was not in need of my "motherly" advice or comments.    I knew that she was quite capable of figuring out things for herself now.  As I just sat and listened, it made me wonder what my role is now that she's an adult.    This new and strange part of letting her grow up has left me feeling a little left out; just the bystander.

I guess that's what we want in life; for our children to grow up able to take care of themselves and lead their lives.   Funny that when it comes, we miss all the days where they were dependent on us for their every need.   I'm not sure I fully enjoyed those years as they were happening.     No longer the caretaker, I must re-evaluate my role.      I am a little bewildered on what that is right now.   It is an awkward transition.    Am I just a friend now?    Do I have any more clout than her friends and roommates?    I just don't know.

I have found that one role has not changed for me; that of the praying mother.    This seems to be a consistent part of my life.  Never having been a person who likes change, I'm good with that.   Even though I've seen how mature she has become, I still worry about all aspects of her life;  health, career, love interests...    I guess I will always have this role.   I have not found a phase of motherhood yet, that didn't call for prayer.

I remember when my daughter was first born.    We  had only been home a few days.   Both sets of grandparents were there.   Refering to how fragile a newborn seems, I'll never forget the laughter that came when I made the comment,  "I can't wait till she's old enough so I don't feel like I have to worry so much!"     Yes, I get it.   Being a parent means always caring and worrying about those wonderful little beings that were placed in our lives.    All I can say is, what a priveledge!