The Luckiest People

I think Barbara Streisand sang it best in Funny Girl. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world. Being a Christian is all about people. Years ago after reading the book What Color Is Your Parachute, I determined that I am not a people person. I am a data-type person. I shuffle papers. That's my strength and where I'm comfortable. That's probably why I'm a secretary. I do have to deal with people every day. I hope I am not too awkward at it, but after the day is through, I retreat to my shell, my home, and become the hermit crab I was born to be.

It doesn't seem fair to me that there are people in the world who seem to love to be around people 24/7. I live with two such strange creatures; my daughter and my husband. They LOVE people. If they aren't around people, they are on the phone to people. It's like they can't stand to be alone. And now, God is trying to push me out of my comfort zone to be....one of them?

All week long, I've walked by the wall of my bedroom and glanced at the ceramic cross with a nail Christmas ornament hanging from it. The words, "I die daily, " keep spouting into my mind. Well, yes, as a Christian we have to die daily to our wants and desires to give way to what God wants, and didn't Christ make the ultimate sacrifice when He died for our sins so that we may have life and have it more abundantly?

Why me? Why does it always seem like I'm the one who has to do all the sacrificing around here and do it stark cold sober? It's just not fair. It's not fair that I was not "born" a people person and now I'm being asked to grow that way. It's like asking someone to grow a second head. It's just not natural.

It was very apparent to me this week when a situation came up that was going to become my ultimate test. I am going to have to share my privacy, my space, my shell of protection from the world with "outsiders." People! People who are not family or my friends. "But it's the Christian thing to do, " my husband retorted, "They have no where else to go." I've always professed to love Christ with my whole heart, but this? No, this is a matter of self-preservation, I protest to myself. Don't throw the Christian card up in my face!

I wrestled with my demons, as they say, that night. I went for a long walk. I knew I was in no state of mind to be around anyone. I was so offended and hurt that anyone would ask me to do this; give up my sanctuary. I panicked. Feelings of betrayal and entrapment enclosed on me. I was ready to leave my marriage and my faith. I couldn't even pray. I told God to just let me go. It's not worth it. I won't do it. It's too much. I've cut off friendships for less.

I continued my fit that night as I got ready for bed. As I was blow drying my hair, all I could think as I sobbed to myself was, "I can't do it!" to which a surprising thought countered, "Yes, you can." (Now, knowing from experience that any voice of reason is not my own, I knew it was God's spirit speaking to me.) "No! I can't!" Again, the thought back was, "Yes, you can!" And still not wanting to listen I said, "I can't do this!" Again the counter thought was, "Yes, you can....you have my spirit living in you." I began to understand that God was NOT going to let go of me and He was NOT going to take "No" for an answer. I continued to feel sorry for myself as I got ready for bed. I still have another day of work this week; better try to get some sleep.

The next morning, I awoke and felt....strangely calm. I was sane again. I didn't even have feelings of spite against my husband, who I had previously thought I would stake my revenge of silence upon. It was all gone! No anger. No resentment. No panic or fear. A peace that surpasses all understanding was mine. How could this be? Could it truly be that the Spirit of God had done a work in me over night? I don't know how long this will last. I have yet to face the actual situation to which I was so opposed, but I'm not dreading it now. I know that God has changed something inside of me. Could it be....I may becoming one of them?

People who need people, truly are the luckiest people. God uses and blesses us through people. And if He can change my heart to be open to these people, them I am lucky and blessed, too.