Something's Coming

From the West Side Story Site

Could be!
Who knows?
There's something due any day;
I will know right away,
Soon as it shows.
It may come cannonballing down through the sky,
Gleam in its eye,
Bright as a rose!

Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Under a tree.
I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Coming to me!

Could it be? Yes, it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!
Something's coming, I don't know what it is,
But it is
Gonna be great!

With a click, with a shock,
Phone'll jingle, door'll knock,
Open the latch!
Something's coming, don't know when, but it's soon;
Catch the moon,
One-handed catch!

Around the corner,
Or whistling down the river,
Come on, deliver
To me!
Will it be? Yes, it will.
Maybe just by holding still,
It'll be there!

Come on, something, come on in, don't be shy,
Meet a guy,
Pull up a chair!
The air is humming,
And something great is coming!
Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Maybe tonight . . .

Call me silly, but I first fell in love with this song from a Todd Rundgren album of my brother's. Didn't even know it was a song from West Side Story. I just loved the hope filled anticipation in it. Still do.

I don't know what's in my future. I do know that God's in control, which is good. Kind of scary for a control-freak such as myself, but I am coming to the conclusion after 40+ years that I never really had control anyway. And if God is for me, who can be against me?

Feel free to hum along!

The Tempo Tantrums!

Yes, this a shameless posting about my daughter's a cappella group at O.U. Athens. Hope you enjoy. Check out their other videos from the recent A Cappella Invitational 2008 on YouTube.

Just Being Me

Yesterday's sermon by Pastor Mark titled What Does the Holy Spirit Do for Us?
spoke to me on so many levels. One of the most important things I took from it was his phrase, "we are human beings, not human doings."

I realized that I have that sentiment about myself; that I am not of value unless I have done something to show my worth. My job, for instance, is my pride. I work hard and hope that someone notices. But to place my value as a human being into the hands of other people is dangerous.

I recently interviewed for a new job that would be a career advancement, not only in pay, but in responsibility. Afterward, I had so many fears of inadequacy that I wondered why I was so upset by it. The real reason was that if they didn't consider me for the job, I would see it as a cut on me being judged as incapable to do the work.

If what I've written before is my truth...then for me to think this about myself is ridiculously self-centered and prideful. (Pride should be spelled prIde, because the "I" is put as most important.) If I take them picking someone else over me as a judgment of my capability, I am not: 1) trusting God to have control over my life 2) trusting that the people He placed in authority over me are really under His control, too 3) think more highly of myself than I ought.

So, I even if they do pick someone else, I must trust their judgment and God's. It doesn't mean that I am worthless. It doesn't mean that I do not have value as an employee. It doesn't mean I am less valuable as a human being. My job is a minute part of my life. God sees me as his child. He wants and KNOWS what's best for me. So many times I wondered why I didn't get something I really wanted in life. Through the years, I've seen that it wasn't my time, or the right place for me. I know this is true. I just seem to need reminded of it a lot lately.

I thank God for the job I have. I still try to do my best, to be conscientious and caring. I thank Him that I am healthy enough to go each day and that He gives me clarity of mind to make good decisions. But, my value is not in my job.

Thank you, Jesus, for showing me that you love me beyond human measure, mine or anyone else's. Thank you for showing me it's OK to just be me.

He's Gotta Hold of Me!

I love this image I found. The look on the child's face says it all. This is how I feel today, like a child holding onto their father's arms. After searching and chasing to find that all elusive peace, it feels like Jesus has me by both arms now, not just my hand. Just like a trusting small child, I look to Him and know that I'm going to be all right no matter what the future holds.

In my earlier blog entry I stated how upset I'd been by the recent turmoil over jobs in my district. Like children, we all want to know what's going to happen to us. Will we be all right? Worried and stressed over not knowing what to do, I spent hours trying to figure out a plan. Truth is, I have no control over what happens. I can plot and plan all I want, but really, who knows what the future holds? That's where my trust in Jesus comes in. He comforts me like a smal child.

I realized that where I am now is in no direct control that I've had. Every single detail of my life, including my job, was ordered and planned by God. I believe He has complete control. As the Bible says in Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
I can make all the plans I want to, but ultimately, it's the Lord who determines where I will go.

This has been so freeing for me, because as I've seen in the past He has always taken care of me. It may not have been what I've planned, but always something good. Sometimes, even better than what I could have picked, because He knows me better than I know myself. He sees the whole situation, where I only see part. My view from down here is clouded. He has the "bird's eye view."

Matthew 6:26-27 states:

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[b]?

Having a close, personal relationship with Christ has been the most rewarding thing in my life. Even one hour of thinking I am separated from Him is torture. I can do anything as long as I know He is with me all the time. My worrying only separates me from Him. Worrying is the opposite of trusting. Trusting brings peace.

I don't know where I will be heading. Even though I have high hopes for chances of advancement, it doesn't matter one way or the other, because nothing is worth feeling separated from Christ's will. I want to always be in His will for my life. I usually know it by the amount of peace I have, and by the doors He opens or closes. Disappointment may visit for a while, but bitterness can not take root as long as I remember that God has good things in store for me. It just may be later on down the road.

Whenever I am tempted to look to the left or to the right and get scared by seeing the scenery swirling past me, I start to get afraid. As long as I remember to look straight into his face, and I know he has me by both arms and I do not have to worry. He will not let me fall.

Psalm 37:24
...though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

Guess you could say, He's really gotta hold of me!

We interrupt this rant.....

Found this "gem" on Pastor Mark's blog.

Another Gem...

from Pastor Glen VanderKloot's daily emailed inspirations:

Thought for the Day
"God will speak only when you stop.

"Only when I silence my heart can I seek God with any
hope of understanding what he is trying to reveal to me."

(Erik Reese)

Scripture
Psalm 37:7 NLT:
"Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act."

Prayer
Lord, help me to quiet my heart so that I can hear
and understand what you are saying to me. Amen

For information on how you can receive Pastor VanderKloot's daily emails, go here.

Either he, or God knew I needed that!!!!!

THANKS!

Chasing After Jesus

This week has been very stressful. There are situations at work that have me twisted in knots. Without going into specifics, there are decisions to be made about jobs. I am torn. There is a lot of unrest and anxiety in the entire district. There is a lot of talk; talk about prospects, talk about outcomes, and talk of dissension. By the end of this week, we'll see what it all culminates into.

It is hard to maintain any clarity right now. I have prayed, read scriptures, talked with other people...trying to come to any conclusion about a clear path. I cannot figure out why sometimes it's so easy to hear from God, and other times, there's just silence. I wonder if it is due to the lack of peace in my soul; if somehow my receptor or antennae has static interference.

I find myself awake everyday before dawn breaks; before the birds even awake. I lie and stare at the wall. When it is evident that there is no more rest, I get up and start the day. I study scriptures. I pray. I try my darnedest to reach out to God. I tell myself He's there. I tell myself I'm not alone. I tell myself he would never leave me.

With my heart already racing like a gerbil in a cage anyway, I decided I may as well head for the treadmill upstairs and just walk till I'm exhausted. Maybe if I wear myself out, I will be able to rest; to find peace.

My treadmill is not the latest in technology. It's not even motorized. It runs on a flywheel. So, it's a little like pushing a lawnmower...uphill. It gets the job done. I can break a sweat in less than 5 minutes on it. "Sweating is good," I thought. "Maybe I can sweat the toxins from stress out of my body." I was determined to push on!

I also like to listen to my favorite radio station while I "mow." We have been blessed to have a couple of really great Christian contemporary stations in our area. I usually listen to 92.7 FM out of Zanesville. Still my attempt to "stay my mind on things above." But even that didn't seem to satisfy the soul.

And then it hit me. I saw myself as the woman in the crowd, trying to push through; trying to catch up, but He keeps moving away. His back is towards me, and the people keep crowding in front of me. I can see myself, pushing through, chasing after Jesus. I am desperate, knowing it is only Him that can heal me; knowing it's my only hope, my only chance. I am reaching, fingers stretched out. If only I can touch his garment, I will be healed. I will have peace. Oh, why won't he slow down? How am I going to catch up? I'll never make it! Tears are streaming down my face at this time. I am consumed by my grief and want to curl up into a ball of despair, but I still keep grasping.

So many times in my life, I've felt Jesus was as near as a whisper. How could this situation make me feel so far away? So left behind? I know that the Bible states He will never leave us or abandon us. Yet, here I am, like a lost child, alone and confused. It is during times like this that I have to remind myself of what I've learned.

Fear is an all consuming emotion. Yet, it seems that there are times it cannot be avoided. I know that I must hang onto what the Bible declares as true. He will never leave or forsake me. Fear involves torment, and perfect love casts out fear. Jesus is that perfect love. I must hang onto only those thoughts. All things work together for those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. I pray that I will stay in His will and be used for His purpose. I must base my decisions on trust, not fear. Even if it means accepting things I don't want to accept. I know that I only think I have control over my life. But a man can only plan his path, and the Lord directs his steps. I must let go, and let God.

Someday, I will be able to look back on this and probably wonder why it was such a big deal. You know what they say, "Hind sight is 20/20." But for now, I'm just going to have to focus my sights on Jesus. I know I'm going to reach Him soon. Peace, clarity and that all too familiar whisper. He knows. He hears. He waits for me to catch up. I'm almost there.