What's Missing?

Lately, I've been feeling like I want more from my relationship with God. I keep thinking I need to be closer. I wonder if I'm doing everything I should. Should I pray more? Maybe if I spent time actually kneeling by my bed. Don't know if my knees could stand more than a couple of minutes, but maybe I need to force myself to do it. Maybe I should read the bible more. What's missing? Why don't I feel that same closeness I did when I first gave my heart to the Lord? I remember feeling euphoric. I want that same fascination, and wonderment to encapsulate me again.

Some people call it revival. They hold special meetings, have special guest speakers, special music. Maybe that helps, I don't know. I'm not sure it's something you can look for, or force to happen. I am wondering if there's anything that would ever help me to feel that way again. After all, it's been almost 20+ years since I gave my life to the Lord. Can it be like we just met all the time?

My husband and I are going to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary next month. We love each other very much, but I can't say it's the same type of love we had in the beginning. Falling in love is such a high. To find someone who says they love you and wouldn't mind spending the rest of their lives with you, well, it feels very magical. But we both know that it isn't realistic to expect to have that thrilling feeling like we just met after 25 years together. What we have is comfortable, for lack of a better word.

Is a relationship with God any different than being married? Can we expect to produce a magical high somehow? Is it wrong to be "comfortable" with God? Do I take both my husband and God for granted? Sure I do. I could spend more time being appreciative. Maybe that's the key. Perhaps what is missing is not what I can get from a relationship, but what I can give.

Today, I will remember to say thank you for the wonderful things in my life; to be grateful for all that God has given me. And I suppose it wouldn't hurt to let my husband know I appreciate him, too!